Billese - An Interpretive Primer

I know there are many on here that think I live to throw water on the Cowboys fire, but I assure you that isn't true. What I am, I repeat, is a realist. I think Bill Parcells is a realist. He's also a very closed-mouth realist. He's coached teams that looked good for awhile then started falling apart. Last year's Cowboys team for example.

One of the first thing Parcells did was establish the "If They Ask, Don't Tell" rule for coaches and players. Assistant coaches aren't allowed to address the press. So the "inside info" you get from Valley Ranch comes from Parcells or Jerry Jones. Even Jones is more guarded with what he says since Parcells moved in. And Parcells has his own language, with different meaning for words than what you find at dictionary.com. I call it Billese.

In Billese so called superstars are referred to as "the player". Quarterbacks who move from a backup to the highest rated QB in the league in 5 weeks are referred to as "the kid". The playoffs are referred to as "the tournament". Getting into the playoffs, with a viable chance to go to the SuperBowl is referred to as "something". All this while the #1 draft pick for the current season hands him his water to keep his throat from drying out too much to offer this Billese to us. Parcells will never be accused of being one to overstate one's situation.

So, here are two quotes coming from Parcells on Thanksgiving Day that I deem the most notable:

#1 (referring to Tony Romo):

"He's a football guy and he's interested in playing well"

As many of us know, a "football guy" is an exalted status endowed by Bill on certain players who exhibit a combination of skill, class, competitiveness, knowledge, willingness to learn, ability to learn, willingness to perform, ability to perform, durability, and wisdom. Simply being a so called superstar will not get you to "football guy" status. Terrell Owens is not a "football guy". Terry Glenn is. Marion Barber is. And as of yesterday, Tony Romo is now officially one.

#2. (referring to the future of the Dallas Cowboys this season):

"I think we're going to be in it here for a little while"

"in it", if my Billese translations skills are what I think they are, means "having the status of being a viable contender to get into the playoffs (otherwise known as "the tournament"). "little while" is a bit more vague, but I'm going to go out on a limb and make a linguistic guess and translate that to mean "a few games, at least". That could very well be a poor translation and could actually mean anything from "at least one game" all the way to "winner of the SuperBowl". In this instance, one must simply hazard a guess as to the exact intent of the speaker. Billese linguistics is not an exact science.

So, let's review what we've learned here today. Tony Romo is now a "football guy", meaning he's shown enough to Bill Parcells to be added to a very elite group of guys that have exhibited certain desirable characteristics to set themselves apart from ordinary players or your average superstar. And the Cowboys players have convinced their coach that they have a legitimate chance of getting to the playoffs, at least for one game, if not much, much more.

Now, wouldn't that be "something"?